"I have to be perfect"

Something that I hear quite regularly from the people around me as I go about my day; whether it be people I know or a stranger as they walk by, is the fact that they have to be a perfect person. I also noticed that one way they become "perfect" is by doing what other people want them to do rather than what they want. The problem with doing that though is that they are generally unhappy. Another problem is the conflict of interests for what people want for you. For example, your parents would want you to do one thing while your friends want you to do another. The person is then confronted with deciding whose opinion is more valuable and important than the others. Once they choose the one they decide is more important, the person is than consumed by guilt for not listening to other person. As you become more and more obsessed with achieving perfection through other peoples eyes, the more generally unhappy I notice that people become.

Another way that people; more commonly women, do to achieve perfection is how they should look and behave. Most women refuse to leave the house without putting on make-up and they have to wear the most fashionable clothing, even if it's just to go to a friends house to sit around, eat junk food and watch movies, because they are pressured to look perfect. I know that when you want to make friends you want to do everything you can to fit in, even if it means being someone you are not. I was in that situation once myself. I didn't have many friends and I had a lot of trouble making them. I came across a group of girls that I decided I wanted to be friends with. But, in order to be their friend, I had to change everything I was to become someone I'm not proud of, to become perfect to them. Finally, I was accepted into the group, I finally had friends. However, the more I was with them, the more unhappy I became. When I chose not to be friends with them any more, the girls started to spread very nasty rumours about me. After that, I made friends who accepted me for who I am and love me because of it. It can be very difficult to be yourself all the time. There are some people in your life already that you become a different person with when you are around them compared to everyone else. I guess that's just normal. But being someone you are not doesn't make you perfect.

I believe that being perfect means that you have to accept everything about yourself; the way you look, your personality, likes and dislikes. Once we realise those, we have to recognise our strength and our weakness. In order to believe that you are perfect, you have to embrace everything about yourself, even your weaknesses. Its a difficult journey to discover yourself. Sometimes there are people that know you better than you know yourself. But the only way to be perfect is to be yourself and do what makes you happy no matter what anyone else thinks about it. You have to always be yourself. If not being able to leave the house without make-up is apart of who you are and not a need to be perfect than do it! If it means turning up to a friends fancy dress birthday party in sweatpants, an old sweatshirt and your hair in a pony tail than go for it. You are perfect the way you are, doing what you do because you love it. Don't ever change yourself to be perfect in someone else's eyes, be perfect in your own eyes...that is the key to happiness.

Through thick and thin

Following a team in a particular sport is one of the most amazing things that I have experienced through my own experiences and the experiences of others. When I turned 6, I started to sneak out my room in the middle of the night to watch the Collingwood Football games because here in Rockhampton Queensland they never aired the show live because they believed that Cross-country Wrestling, aka Rubgy League, was watched by more people throughout Australia, therefore making it a TV priority. My father sat me down at the age of 8 and jokingly said "Now Ashka, you can support any team in the AFL you want, but if its a team other than Collingwood, you aren't living in my house." Ever since then I would watch particular sections of the games and was only interested in it at the very end to find out the end result. There was just something about the TV that made the game boring and dull. A number of years ago now, my dad took me to my very first live Collingwood game. It was the Collingwood vs. Brisbane Lions game at the Gabba and we were seated right behind the cheer squad. It was one of the best days of my life. There was this tremendous energy flowing through me as I took in the sight and sound of the crowd going ballistic and supporting their team. I had never felt more alive as I screamed and cheered for the Collingwood boys. 

The next live Collingwood game that I attended after that what the Collingwood and St Kilda Grandfinal draw. I remember the emotions running through me; anger, happiness, fear and right at the end of the game when it was declared a draw, numbness. At that moment dad turned to me and whispered "I have never heard the MCG this silent." I was so disappointed that there was no result. If we lost I would have been angry and if we won, I would have been overjoyed to see my first Collingwood grand final win. Anything was better than the numbness of the draw, even losing. And to make it even worse, I was so upset that I couldn't stay in Melbourne for the Grand Final Replay. When the replay was on, I sat and watched it with my family. When we won, it was the first time that I had ever seen my dad cry as he said to me "I have waited 20 years for this moment. I was on the verge of quitting support for Collingwood but I stuck with them because I could never let go, because I saw the potential of new players as they came through.. And we finally did it." It was then that I learned my greatest lesson yet.

There are some people that don't follow any team through everything because for them, it is just easier to switch the support from the team you were following to which ever team wins that season. But the people who deserve the respect from the teams which they support are the people who stood by them through the heartache and the joy, never giving up on them because they know that there is a chance that this could be the year that they win for the season, whether it be Cross-country Wrestling, Soccer or AFL. Those people are the inspiration for the next generation who support the same team. I want to have the same loyalty and love that my dad has and show an unfailing support for the Collingwood Football Club. He has inspired me to never give up on something just because they fail, but to stick to it even stronger than before in the hope that it will be better.

Through Thick and Think, I will always support the Collingwood Football Club.

Life of rich and famous

Ok, so everyone gets to know about the life of the Celebrities thanks to paparazzi, TV interviews, magazines and so on and so forth. At times, it's great to hear about whats going on with them when the news is positive but really, who wants to hear that Cameron Diaz cried over a haircut or that people believe that Taylor Swift got breast implants and how inappropriate it is for the younger generation to see that? What is there to see? It isn't like she filmed the operation and uploaded it to the internet! And it doesn't matter what you believe, if she got them she got them; if she didn't she didn't. No one can judge. I mean, I certainly can't judge her for possibly wanting to change something about herself when there is so much that I want to change about myself. Which brings me to my topic...Judging the people around you.

It seems to be a natural instinct of ours to judge people but when is it that the point goes too far and you've judged someone too harshly or out of their character? As an example, I'll use an experience of my own. A girl I knew used to be the life of the party. She always found a way to brighten everyones day with a single smile and always, no matter what was going on put everyones problems before her own when they turned to her for help. However, something happened that brought that all crashing down. She was sad, unsure of how to handle the feelings she had so she shut herself off from them. She moved schools and while she was there she didn't make any new friends. But, she heard people whispering that she was a snob and that she believed she was better than everyone around her. Slowly, she started to sort out everything that went wrong and found herself feeling better as the days went by. But there was a problem. What she didn't know was she was in that funk for three years and suddenly, she was very shy. She introduced herself to people but it was a while before she actually started talking to people and making friends. Soon, she was back to herself, smiling brightly and helping everyone she could but she was a lot kinder to people than she was before, regretting the way she may have treated others when she was down and vowed never to be that person again. That girl, in the funk, was me. And I refer to that time in my life in third person because the truth is, I don't even know who that was. I look back at it all and it all feels like it was some strange dream. I wont tell you what it is that brought me down, but the fact is, people judged me for it, believing that I was just a snobby bitch who didn't give a shit about anyone but myself. Truth is, I cared about other people so much, I kept my problems to myself. I refused to burden people with them. 

But I'm not an angel either, I've judged people rather harshly and later discovered that what I first thought was wrong, which brings me to the most important lesson I learned. Never think you know someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. It took me a long time to understand what that meant. In fact, I still struggle with it. But really, lets be reasonable, who doesn't? So, if Taylor Swift got her breasts done who cares? We don't know her reasoning behind it and we may never know. The truth is, everyone is who they are and no matter what the world says, everyone changes for the best. Even a bad change can become good if you know how to handle it. So, I part with something for you to think about. What do you want to change about yourself? And what are your reasons for wanting that change? 

Most Beautiful Teenager 2012

The Most Beautiful Teenager competition. It's something that has been clogging my news feed from when friends of mine like some of the photos on it. What I don't understand is why someone would make a competition like that in the first place. There's a pattern that I've noticed about it that makes me wonder, why do people go to such measures to believe that they are beautiful? Can't they just believe the people around them? You don't need dozens of other people around the world to say that you're beautiful when the people that are closest to you tell you every day! I understand that some people may do it because they want a brief moment of adoration from strangers but then there is one problem that comes with this..the certain individuals that the internet call "trolls." These people would comment something that would cause others to react with anger and reply to his comment using multiple exclamation marks and in some cases lots of swear words. The troll then would continue to post on the picture as the response that he or she was trying to receive was placed before them, giving them more of an incentive to continue commenting. This in turn makes the person who posted the picture to feel ugly in some cases because they are letting this troll get to them then leave the competition feeling worse than before they entered.

Another thing about this competition is those people that put pictures of disabled children up and say "Like if you have a heart." Now, that is completely inappropriate to use these children as a sideshow. Those children have feeling. I'm sure that they would get teased because of their condition from other children their age. But posting the picture up on the Internet for the same people who probably teased them to view and say "Like if you have a heart" they are going to like and say how sad it is that a child is like. Disabled children are not there for you to use their pictures to gain Internet popularity. If the child thinks they are beautiful then let them put the picture up themselves because it is important for someone to be comfortable in their own skin. So please, if you have a heart, take the picture down because even though you think that the people who like feel sorry for the young child's condition think again, because I can assure you that many of the people that view will be laughing at the child and teasing them for they way they look.

Also, girls, when you put up a picture that reads "Natural, no make-up" be sure that one, you either have no make-up on or two, the make-up is not noticeable because if a boy can point out that you are wearing make-up then you can't keep saying that you're not. Because a picture of having "no make-up" but the smallest section of your eyelashes are stuck together by what is clearly mascara and a boy notices this, then you might as well just admit it, you are wearing make-up. And that also is very sad, that people are ashamed of other people seeing their natural beauty. For those girls that did put up pictures of no make-up congratulations for being comfortable enough with your looks to put it up and ignore what people will say about it. But then again, we live in a society where women are expected to look their best at all times, which apparently doesn't include sweat pants, no make-up, your comfortable baggy shirt and unbrushed yet still  decent looking bed hair even when you wake up in the morning!

The truth is that everyone is beautiful, just accept it! Someone that you might think of as unattractive, someone thinks is the most beautiful person they have seen in their lives! So, I have to tell you that I love myself the way I am. I wouldn't change a thing because I believe that I am beautiful because I hear it everyday from people who are very special to me. I must admit that it took me a long time to accept myself the way I am but once I did, I was finally happy.  Find that something about yourself that you love, that something that makes you believe that you are beautiful and embrace it, hold it and use it to make you feel better. You are beautiful, you don't need a competition to tell you that. 

Book Addictions

Anthony Horowitz has written a series of books about a young boy named Alex Rider. If you've read them then good; that means you know what I'm talking about. If not but you like reading about under age children being forced into working for a government protection agency in order for family members or close friends to be kept alive or to remain living in the country rather than deported because their visa has expired, then these are the books for you. However, I do believe that there are too many of them. Others may not be of this opinion but I am.

I was very satisfied with the ending to Crocodile Tears, book number eight in the series, and was very hopeful that it was the last book. I was excited when another one didn't come out within the usual timeline for another Alex Rider book to be released. However, a few months afterwards he came out with the final book. I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. There it was, sitting on the shelve waiting to be picked up and read by the young teens of the world. I on the other hand, vowed never to read the abomination that was set before me. I avoided book stores for weeks on end but over time, my curiosity became too much, I had to buy the book and read it. Then it hit me! Authors write books that certain groups of people become addicted to. And because of this, no matter how many times they put your favourite character though hell and back, they know that even though you may promise to never read it because you believe that the character has been through enough as it is, you will end up reading the book.

But, as there are more and more books about your favourite character, it does become more and more difficult to be committed to reading them, taking you a longer amount of time to read. Unless they are the Harry Potter books. Each time a new one came out you read it faster than you did the previous one, no matter how much thicker the new one is. But once you finish a series, you need to find another one to pass your time. Books are highly addictive but at least they are good. They expand you vocabulary and improve your reading skills. So, this is my thank you to the authors of the world who write the book series that I get addicted to. I thank you for providing the one reason that I curl up in bed or on the couch and just read about the adventures of the characters and the worlds that you have created as an escape from a bad day. Without it, there are many people like me who would be lost without the opportunity to lose ourselves in our imaginations to the various worlds you have created.